Want success? Have the difficult conversation!
A few years ago, I found myself in a situation where I had to turn around an organisation that was strongly resistant to change. The team has had numerous successes in the past but the environment has changed and the company strategy has changed, which called for different ways of working and a different organisational culture.
If you are like me, you would want results quickly and while I was very well aware that culture change takes time, I wanted us to arrive there fast. Eventually, the results came and I was really proud of what we as a team achieved, how our business overperformed and how much more nimble and strong as a team we’d become.
However, when we were in the thick of the transformation, when things were messy and the outcome was not yet visible, I found it difficult to maintain my belief that we are in the right direction or that we were moving fast enough. Ever since, I have been thinking about how to measure leadership performance in the process of change and what good looks like. The hard outcomes are easy to see when they eventually come. What is challenging is to identify tangible lead indicators in situations in which there are a lot of intangible things.
I had my “a-ha” moment today while I was listening today to Tim Ferriss’ TED talk. I was struck by him saying that success is often measured by the number of difficult conversations one is willing to have. That’s it! The willingness to lead difficult conversations is the key metric to know whether one is doing a great job when leading teams through transition - are you having the difficult conversations and are you able to lead them successfully?
Why difficult conversations are a predictor of success? This comes down to three things:
They require vulnerability and humility and both are critical for establishing trust with your team. Trust is the foundation of high-performing teams.
They are an indicator that you are addressing the issues that matter. A conversation is difficult usually when the stakes are high.
They show integrity and honesty without which a leader cannot be respected. A leader, who is able to meet individuals or a team that is not happy, and yet deliver a difficult message with respect and address critical issues, even when the message is not pleasant, is an individual who has strong values.
Difficult conversations are difficult for a reason and it is tempting to avoid them hoping that things will resolve by themselves. My experience shows me that every time I had ignored a hunch and not brought it up, things have gone worse and similarly, every time I had gone into a conversation head on, open, sharing my view with respect but also willing to listen, I had come out of it feeling fulfilled that I had done my best. In pretty much all cases, I had been able to turn around a very difficult situation. It is hard but it is worth it.